Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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