Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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