i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
