The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
