sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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