Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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