i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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