My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's just like the Real World with babies
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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