that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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