Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
