Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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