But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
