no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
