the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
