Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
