I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize