I'm really into asian looking animals
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
