I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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