some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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