are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
