how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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