i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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