i think my mom watched the whole time
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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