I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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