Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You smell like stripper and shame
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
