I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
