i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
