she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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