How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I enjoy the company of your penis
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