forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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