If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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