woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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