Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
