If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
