I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
