Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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