i think my tv is drunk
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can I color on your dick again?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
