She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
