If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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