i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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