It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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