I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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