I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
