Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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