I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
