He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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