after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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