OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What drink are we having for lunch?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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