I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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