I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
