Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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