whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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