All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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