Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.

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(954): View more from Florida

Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.

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(772): View more from Florida

Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance

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(310): View more from California

Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised

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(623): View more from Arizona

the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.

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