Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through

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  (925): Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen? (1-925): Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through http://tfl.nu/7r4x
  Replies (11) Good night (1204) Bad night (813)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  How wet are you?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  Ever heard of a U-boat?

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  (908): How wet are you? (1-908): Ever heard of a U-boat? http://tfl.nu/c25g
  Replies (16) Good night (3900) Bad night (598)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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  (214): New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma! http://tfl.nu/1dky
  Replies (67) Good night (1261) Bad night (4286)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

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  (484): im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster http://tfl.nu/zma4
  Replies (14) Good night (5385) Bad night (980)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  you better fuck at least one or both of them.

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  (970): We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes. (1-970): you better fuck at least one or both of them. http://tfl.nu/eeo0
  Replies (12) Good night (5125) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.

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  (440): Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing. http://tfl.nu/eukd
  Replies (36) Good night (1384) Bad night (3467)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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  (+44): She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name http://tfl.nu/1k1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3358) Bad night (1042)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?

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  (678): thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right? http://tfl.nu/2evi
  Replies (7) Good night (2180) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics

  (416): View more from Toronto

  But that's half the fun of it

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  (647): Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics (416): But that's half the fun of it http://tfl.nu/vf29
  Replies (6) Good night (2486) Bad night (767)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

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  (518): Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs. http://tfl.nu/lvji
  Replies (2) Good night (1377) Bad night (654)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.

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  (720): Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from. http://tfl.nu/0y1z
  Replies (4) Good night (1371) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

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  (949): I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem http://tfl.nu/xr6o
  Replies (4) Good night (1091) Bad night (652)
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  (916): View more from California

  I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty

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  (916): I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty http://tfl.nu/gn90
  Replies (11) Good night (420) Bad night (943)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.

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  (201): Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus. http://tfl.nu/06dr
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks

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  (713): Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks http://tfl.nu/eb46
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (243)

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