Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh fat girl friday strikes again...

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  (724): oh fat girl friday strikes again... http://tfl.nu/rgt0
  Replies (60) Good night (804) Bad night (4344)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?

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  (540): Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift? http://tfl.nu/ixd3
  Replies (53) Good night (1765) Bad night (5730)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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  (917): My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked. http://tfl.nu/yy4v
  Replies (16) Good night (4499) Bad night (917)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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  (519): Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical. http://tfl.nu/sqyk
  Replies (12) Good night (6617) Bad night (1905)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers

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  (617): His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers http://tfl.nu/2b5k
  Replies (9) Good night (1782) Bad night (941)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him

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  (308): I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him http://tfl.nu/5d11
  Replies (2) Good night (1295) Bad night (673)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

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  (641): FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS. http://tfl.nu/fecm
  Replies (6) Good night (1988) Bad night (1007)
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  (714): View more from California

  Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made

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  (714): Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made http://tfl.nu/j4f1
  Replies (7) Good night (1711) Bad night (475)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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  (214): So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him. http://tfl.nu/fzxv
  Replies (2) Good night (2088) Bad night (411)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.

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  (512): i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/a4iw
  Replies (11) Good night (828) Bad night (1782)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (607)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party

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  (519): I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party http://tfl.nu/i9gg
  Replies (4) Good night (1422) Bad night (413)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.

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  (702): Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself. http://tfl.nu/5shw
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (319)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.

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  (404): Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't. http://tfl.nu/cauu
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (245)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

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  (306): Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift. http://tfl.nu/91xb
  Replies (3) Good night (691) Bad night (225)

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