My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?