You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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