I'm retarded. Again.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.