Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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