I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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