im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
