I am puke
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
