we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
