I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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