He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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