he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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