Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
organizing the empties. That sober.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
