Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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