I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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