So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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