If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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