"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
